Where nerds go to get laid.

     

 

(Jeff, at least I think that’s his name, the kid who got the Gumby tattoo)

 

(White Rob lives)

 

(Shane MacGowan and an English Bobby)

 

(He was so proud of his getup that when I photographed him he was beaming)

 

Few of my friends were adventurous enough to crash parties at the Hyatt which was hosting Marcon, the giant, annual sci-fi convention.

 

I have always disliked fiction, just about any type. Give me a good documentary and I’m happy. I know, I know … I’m the weird one.

 

Regardless, there’s no way I’m missing Revenge of the Nerds XXVIII. This was based entirely on Friday night, the much calmer, party warm-up night.

 

Wander around any floor and you’ll see Klingons mingling with Willy Wonka. Random parties that are lenient on who they let in. One piece of advice we learned for Saturday night is to score some official Marcon badges – they pay for themselves in nerd’s gold because the parties get more selective.

 

At one party we found tables full of Sour Patch Kids and rum as well as a karaoke session. Another party served us shots called Pan-galactic something or another that consisted of Everclear mixed in test tubes. You don’t even have to be drunk for the stars to slowly circle the room.

 

The whole night we didn’t see a single staff members, the three-member Klingon Army we bumped into at 4 a.m. on our way home must have taken care of these lesser foes for the night.

 

“These cons are just an excuse to dress up in costumes,” said Jeff, a buff, long-haired, middle-aged Klingon. “It’s really very therapeutic.”

 

After an hour hanging out with the group in the lobby, Lt. Gen. K’nocrod Zantai Tumid gave us his “business” card that featured him in full costume. On the back it read: Klingon by Birth, Marine by Choice.

 

There is, however, an underbelly to the event. Accustomed to punk party ethics, I expected our new hosts to be friendlier and parties crazier. If only I was female. Michelle said she has never been offered more free drinks or suspect baked goods in her entire life.

 

I don’t blame the nerds for trying considering their female counterparts are about as attractive as the males.

 

If anything was learned it’s that Marcon is a place where nerds can be a nerd or at least try to get laid.